Why We Need Donald Trump

Many people are hoping Donald Trump will get impeached or be forced to resign. While this might seem like an improvement to liberals, there’s actually a good reason why liberals need Donald Trump to stay in office, because without a highly polarizing figure like Donald Trump in the White House, it’s harder for liberals and progressives to rally their base.

Back in World War Two, the British and Americans came up with all sorts of plots to assassinate Hitler. Many of those plots were never executed but many of them were never started for one reason. The Allies correctly guessed that keeping Hitler in power was more detrimental to Germany’s future than taking him out.

Hitler micromanaged his admirals and generals, second-guessing them because he (like Donald Trump) believed he was smarter than everyone else, even in situations where he had no experience.

Hitler lost confidence in his navy so he refused to let Germany’s major ships attack for fear of losing them. Hitler held back Germany’s jet fighter program that could have introduced jet fighters much earlier in the war and turned the tide against the Allied effort to take back Europe.

Hitler kept making such poor decisions throughout the war that he was actually an asset in helping the Allies defeat Germany. The Allies feared if they eliminated Hitler, someone far more intelligent would take over, and having an intelligent leader running Germany would be a far greater threat than having a bungling Hitler in charge instead.

And that’s why the world needs Donald Trump to stay in office. As long as he spews vicious attacks on immigrants and the media, and insists on delivering lies that are easily proven false, Donald Trump reveals the true face of the GOP leaders around him.

The GOP cares only about profits for themselves while blaming non-whites for all the problems in the world. Having Donald Trump bluntly state this in public is bad enough, but when GOP leaders remain silent, that’s even worse because it reveals the GOP’s true intentions all along.

The GOP never wants to help people. They simply want to rewrite laws for their own benefit and enrich themselves in the process. Donald Trump makes this obvious. Removing Trump from the White House means the GOP can go back to saying politically correct statements while still pursuing their same deceptive agenda enriching themselves at the expense of everyone else. Without Trump making this obvious, liberals and progressives will likely go back to sleep and falsely believe the Democrats are the solution when the Democrats are little different from the Republicans.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats ostensibly want to help people while enriching themselves while the Republicans want to help themselves while enriching themselves.

Trump simply highlights the fact that America has never been about freedom, liberty, and democracy so much as it’s always been about imposing our will on others by force and deception. Both the Republicans and Democrats share the blame equally, but Donald Trump makes this obvious to everyone.

Removing Donald Trump means the US government risks going back into “let’s pretend” mode again where they pretend to care about people while secretly enriching themselves anyway.

Donald Trump is necessary to highlight the huge problem with both the Republicans and the Democrats because both have mutually created a system of government that enriches themselves at the expense of the people they’re supposed to serve.

We need Donald Trump to continue highlighting the real motives behind our so-called government leaders from both sides. Right now the Republicans (and many Democrats) are mostly silent in challenging Trump, which means they silently agree in his naked power agenda.

We shouldn’t fear Trump so much as we should fear all the people around him who aren’t doing a thing to stop or challenge him. We don’t need to get rid of Trump. We need to get rid of the people in Congress who support him.

The big threat to any nation isn’t a single leader, but the people who support that leader. After all, Hitler didn’t exterminate six million Jews by himself and Trump can’t do anything without the active cooperation of many people who put their own interests ahead of the country, and those are the people we need to get rid of far more than we need to get rid of Trump.

Donald Trump Just Wants to Be Liked

Whether you like or hate Donald Trump, you have to admit that his actions have gotten him into the White House. Yet you have to wonder why Donald Trump behaves the way he does.

He always wants his way, he doesn’t listen to others, and he always thinks he’s right. If you spotted this blustery behavior in a child, you might wonder why a person would act like this and one possible reason is that it’s a way to cover up low self-esteem.

Bullies are often easily intimidated. Because they’re essentially cowards, they overcompensate by acting far tougher than they feel. More importantly, bullies act tough to others because they’re afraid.

They’re not afraid of others so much as they’re afraid that others will see them for who they really are. So they hide behind a false front that puts up a tough exterior right away as a shield. Of course, such a shield not only blocks out threats, but also blocks out love.

Essentially, Donald Trump, like all people, wants to be liked.

There are many ways to be liked, but if you have low self-esteem, you’ll be extremely sensitive to any sort of criticism. (Sound familiar with his constant Tweeting?) You’ll also pretend to be the opposite of how you really feel. Someone with low-self-esteem needs the adoration of others like a drug addict needs cocaine. People with low self-esteem need constant approval from others, but it’s never enough. They need more and they need it all the time.

Someone who holds such a low opinion of himself must continue to draw attention to himself through emotional outbursts and outrageous actions because these give him attention in the same way that a crying baby tossing toys around a living room can attract the attention of the parents.

Notice that Donald Trump feels particularly hurt when he finds people may not like him? Why boast that his inauguration was the most attended in history when it clearly was not due to photographic evidence? Imagine how he feels when he sees more people protesting against him. Even worse, Donald Trump craved attention so he naturally craved approval from Hollywood when he was a reality TV star in “The Apprentice.”

Now most of the Hollywood crowd has turned against him and will never forgive his actions again. No matter what happens to his Presidency, Donald Trump will never be welcomed into the majority of Hollywood circles ever again, and that fact alone must particularly hurt someone like Donald Trump.

Given the fact that he’s already shut himself off from Hollywood and many world leaders, who else can Donald Trump turn to for unending approval? His base of white nationalists.

Expect Donald Trump to perform more outrageous acts like a screaming toddler throwing a tantrum for approval. As Donald Trump’s circle of friends gets smaller and smaller, he’ll get wilder and wilder, pandering to the only people who still like him: neo-Nazis, white supremacists and racists, and angry bigots. Not surprisingly, this group of people don’t embrace facts or care about history. All they care about is themselves, their imagined enemies and threats to their existence, and their own selfishness — exactly the same way Donald Trump feels.

Donald Trump must continue seeking approval from right-wing extremists because they’re the only ones who like him while the rest of the world shuns him.

For someone who only wanted to be liked, having a large percentage of the world actively and visibly protest against you must be the ultimate fear of anyone with low self-esteem. Most people who hold low opinions of themselves only have to deal with a handful of people who don’t like them. Donald Trump has to live in the fish bowl transparent bubble of the whole world, and a growing percentage of the world does not like him.

For someone with low self-esteem, being President isn’t a dream job. It’s Donald Trump’s biggest nightmare.

Celebrating the Death of a Dictator (By Ignoring the Fall of Another Dictator)

When Fidel Castro died, Cuban Americans celebrated. In Miami, Cuban-Americans chanted “The tyrant is dead.”

There’s no question that Fidel Castro was a dictator and no question that he overthrew another government to become Cuba’s dictator. However, if you do a little research into history, you’ll realize many Cuban Americans’ parents lived in Cuba under another dictator named Fulgencio Batista.

According to Wikipedia, Batista ran for president in 1952. Facing certain electoral defeat, he led a military coup.

With financial and military support from the United States government, Batista suspended the 1940 Constitution and revoked most political liberties, including the right to strike.

He then aligned with the wealthiest landowners who owned the largest sugar plantations, and his policies helped widen the gap between rich and poor Cubans.

Eventually it reached the point where most of the sugar industry was in U.S. hands, and foreigners owned 70% of the arable land. Batista’s increasingly corrupt and repressive government then began to systematically profit from the exploitation of Cuba’s commercial interests, by negotiating lucrative relationships with both the American Mafia, who controlled the drug, gambling, and prostitution businesses in Havana, and with large U.S.-based multinational companies who were awarded lucrative contracts.

Batista essentially was a dictator who exploited Cuba at the expense of the common people. So when you see Cuban Americans dancing in the street to celebrate the death of Fidel Castro, the big question is did the parents of these Cuban Americans also celebrate the overthrow of Fulgencio Batista since he was also a dictator? If not, why not?

If the goal is to free Cuba of a dictator, then how come the American government seemingly supported Batista, who was a dictator? Did they support him because he was friendly to American financial interests and ignore his oppressive regime against his own people? If so, then how come American newspapers don’t report this information as part of the story covering Cuban-Americans celebrating the death of Fidel Castro?

By just taking a little time to research history, you can suddenly see that the hatred for Fidel Castro isn’t just because he was a dictator but likely because he wasn’t friendly to the financial interests of the people profiting off the exploitation of the common people regardless of whether a dictator was running Cuba or not.

There’s no question that Batista was a dictator just like Fidel Castro was a dictator. So why is Fidel Castro hated and Fulgencio Batista is not? Could it be that financial interests are more important than democracy and the well-being of the common people?

To read a Wall Street Journal article about Castro’s death that conveniently ignores any question about Batista’s equally repressive dictatorship over Cuba, click here.

How to Pick Up Women Who Support Donald Trump

Donald Trump has made numerous sexist comments about women, yet close to half of all women in America decided to vote for him anyway. That makes as much sense as black people in Louisiana who voted for David Duke, a renown Ku Klux Klan leader.

Since so many American women supported Donald Trump, this opens a huge opportunity for men to pick them up in bars. In the interest in helping men get laid in America, here are some pickup lines you can use on women who support Donald Trump:

  • When you smile, you light up a room faster than napalm dropped on a village in Vietnam.
  • Your skin is softer than the children working in my factories.
  • Are you an angel? Or are you just wearing your Ku Klux Klan hood and robe out in public?

By appealing to a woman’s sense of vanity and support for Donald Trump, you too should have little problem convincing a Donald Trump supporter to go home with you at night.

An Easy Way to Get Into Heaven

If you listen to conservatives, the real solution to all of our problems is to return back to God. By that they mean their God and their way of worshipping their God.

The general consensus is that we’re all going straight to hell unless we follow the rules of God, which basically means always doing good and never getting tempted into evil. If you get tempted into evil, you risk facing God’s wrath and being punished in the afterlife by getting sent straight to hell.

So there are two flaws with someone’s desire to get into heaven. First, getting yourself into heaven is basically a selfish act. You want to save yourself because you think you deserve it, yet a truly unselfish, Christian act would be to give up your place in heaven so someone else can have it instead.

I guess you won’t see too many religious people embracing that idea.

However, a more serious obstacle to getting into heaven is the so-called belief that you must be 100% good all the time and if you stray from the righteous path, you risk going straight to hell. Using that logic, it seems like the fastest and most direct way to hell would be to worship not God, but the devil.

If you become a devil-worshipper, now you must be evil 100% of the time so you can go straight to hell. However, if you do a few good acts in your life, you’ll risk having Satan punish you by sending you straight to heaven.

See how easy that path to heaven can be?

With a God-fearing approach, you have to be good most of the time. With a Satan-worshipping approach, you just have to be good some of the time. Then Satan will punish you in the afterlife by denying you from hell and sending you straight to heaven instead.

So the quickest path to heaven seems to be embracing evil and doing good once in a while — which is exactly what most extreme right-wing (and left-wing) people actually do.

Of course, if those people are going straight to heaven, then it’s far more likely that heaven is really hell, so you really want to go to hell so you won’t have to ever see those people ever again for the rest of your life.

After all, it’s bad enough sharing your life with so many self-righteous people who use religion as an excuse to justify everything from slavery to war, but how would you like to spend an eternity with these same people?

That’s the definition of hell right there, spending an eternity with self-righteous people. If given a choice, maybe hell doesn’t sound so bad after all.

The Real Purpose of Any Government

The first priority of any government is self-preservation.

The second priority of any government is enrichment of the people running the government.

There is no third priority.

Anything governments do that actually helps people is really designed to keep that government in power and/or enrich the people running the government.

Governments never work for the people. The people work for the government.

In the eyes of the government, its citizens are expendable. The only time citizens are not expendable is when they’re needed to protect the government or enrich the people running the government.

It’s a simple system. It only requires citizens to remain unaware of their real purpose. Loyalty and patriotism are ways to convince citizens to sacrifice their own lives for the good of their government.

When was the last time any government risked destruction to protect the lives of its citizens?

You can never trust any government because it’s impossible to legislate away corruption, greed, and selfishness.

You can only trust people. The moment people become part of any government, they’ll only do a good job based on their own moral and ethical values, which is impossible to predict or control through legislation. Making laws can never eliminate the worst parts of human behavior.

Therefore the whole purpose of Congress, which makes laws, is meaningless if they don’t define the moral and ethical values of the nation at the same time.

Governments are only as moral as the people running them. To run a government intelligently, the people running that government must be intelligent and rational.

Most governments are not intelligent or rational because most people are not intelligent or rational.

People get the governments they accept. If the people’s standards are low, then the government’s standards will be equally low.

Ultimately, people are in control of the world, but only if they recognize this fact and exercise their power to choose.

It’s all up to you.

How to be Stupid as a Corporate Executive

When Sam Walton started Wal-Mart, he had to put up with a problem that all retailers face, namely shoplifting and employee theft. Rather than hire security guards at the front of his stores, which might prove intimidating to customers, Sam Walton decided to hire greeters instead.

The job of a greeter was to welcome people to the store but also to keep an eye out for theft in a non-obtrusive way. Wal+Mart’s executives fought Sam Walton on this, claiming it was a waste of money but Sam Walton got his way and put greeters in all of his stores. Not surprisingly, theft dropped and the cost of the greeters was more than made up for by the savings in reducing theft.

Then Wal-Mart’s executives got the bright idea to save money by getting rid of the greeters. Their logic was that since greeters cost money and didn’t do anything directly to increase profits, they were an unnecessary expense. Not surprisingly, Wal-Mart saved money by eliminating greeters and then started losing money after theft started increasing dramatically.

In a move meant to save money, Wal-Mart’s executives found a way to cost the company money. That’s the typical corporate executive mentality. Save money now regardless of the consequences later.

With that in mind, here’s a similar idea. Why not eliminate corporate executives? This would provide an immediate cost savings, especially once you eliminate the exorbitant salaries, company perks such as company cars, and executive offices not to mention corporate secretaries who often double as thinly disguised (and equally thinly dressed) prostitutes and mistresses for the corporate executives.

So how come corporate executives never think of saving a company money by eliminating their own jobs? Most likely because corporate executives aren’t really interested in saving a company money so much as they’re interested in increasing their own benefits regardless of the long-term consequences for the actual company.

Before corporate executives cut other people’s jobs, they should first cut their own jobs and salaries to save money, provided, of course, that they’re actually serious about saving the company money.

Since corporate executives really aren’t serious about saving a company money, they should simply be open and honest about it and  publicly promote themselves as pursuing greed and selfishness. Then again, most corporate executives do promote themselves as the party of greed and selfishness by hiring lobbyists to influence politicians for their benefit.

The real problem isn’t that corporate executives are greedy, selfishness, and short-sighted. The real problem is that much of the general public is also greedy, selfish, and short-sighted, so they don’t want to hold others to a higher standard because they hope to reach that same “higher standard” one day when they can also exploit others by being greedy, selfish, and short-sighted. The only difference between a rich greedy and selfish person and a poor one is that the poor one hasn’t yet had a chance to be greedy and selfish on a mass scale.

After seeing theft increase, Wal-Mart decided that the cost of hiring greeters was still less than the expense of store theft. So Wal-Mart brought back their greeters and theft levels have dropped as a result.

Most people follow the common sense rule that “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” However corporate executives follow their own common sense rule that says, “If we eliminate employees, buildings, and products, we can bring our total expenses to absolute zero while still maintaining our current level of profits!”

If you own a company and want help running it into the ground as quickly as possible, hire more corporate executives. They’ll never fail or disappoint you.

To read more about Wal-Mart’s mistake in eliminating greeters, click here.


Stop Comparing Donald Trump to Hitler

After Donald Trump announced he wanted to build a wall to keep out Mexican immigrants, do a mass deportation of all illegal immigrants, and ban Muslims from entering the United States, many people started comparing Trump to Adolf Hitler. Strangely, many Rabbis have come out to say that making comparisons of Trump to Hitler is wrong because it diminishes the real tragedy of the Holocaust and the six million Jews who died.

When you read the arguments against comparing Trump to Hitler, you realize that these rabbis aren’t defending Trump so much as they’re protecting the memory of the Holocaust. These rabbis argue that Trump is different from Hitler because Hitler committed genocide against the Jews while Trump has simply talked about deporting illegal immigrants and banning Muslims.

So these rabbis are correct in saying that Trump is not Hitler because Trump has not yet rounded up masses of people and exterminated them in concentration camps. Then again in the early days before he came into power, Adolf Hitler didn’t do that either. Hitler only committed mass atrocities against people once he became the leader of Germany while Trump has not yet had the chance to become the leader of the United States.

With that in mind, the arguments against comparing Trump to Hitler could also be used to defend Hitler in his younger days from Hitler after he came to power. After all, before he became Chancellor of Germany, Hitler also didn’t round up Jews and exterminate them. He simply blamed all of Germany’s problems on Jews and encouraged violence against them.

The main argument rabbis are using to avoid comparing Trump to Hitler is that Hitler committed atrocities but Trump has not. So if Trump is not Hitler in his later days, perhaps it’s more accurate to compare Trump to Hitler during Hitler’s early days.

In the early days, Hitler blamed a group of people (Jews) for all the problems of the nation. Today, Trump blames two groups of people (Mexicans and Muslims) for all the problems of the nation.

In the early days, Hitler said he would make the country great again by making it a stronger world military power. Today, Trump says he will make the country great again by making it a stronger world military power.

In the early days, Hitler roused people’s emotions by promising simple solutions (take over more land) to complex problems (the consequences of the Treaty of Versailles). Today, Trump rouses people’s emotions by promising  promising simple solutions (build a wall) to complex problems (illegal immigration).

So in many ways, Trump is not the Hitler who committed atrocities and genocide, but perhaps Trump really is much closer to the Hitler of the early days before he committed atrocities and genocide.

Maybe the comparison of Trump to Hitler isn’t to diminish the Holocaust but to warn people that Trump is so close to Hitler during his early days that if we allow Trump to go unchecked, he could turn into the Hitler of the later days because he’s already so close to Hitler during the early days.

If the arguments of rabbis defending Trump from comparisons of Hitler are valid, then those same arguments could have been equally valid in defending Hitler during the early days. After all, Hitler in the early 1930’s hadn’t killed any Jews yet; he simply advocated blaming them for everything.

So if these rabbis dismissing Trump comparisons to Hitler were around in Germany during the 1930’s, would they have advocated people to stop comparing Hitler in his early days with Hitler in his later days?

The main reason people are comparing Trump to Hitler is to warn people that Trump is too closely following Hitler’s actions before Hitler committed atrocities. The point is to keep Trump out of office so he won’t have a chance to commit atrocities like Hitler did.

Perhaps Trump won’t commit atrocities like Hitler did, but do you really want to take that chance, knowing that Trump is far too similar to Hitler in Hitler’s early days?

Comparing Trump to Hitler isn’t meant to diminish the Holocaust in any way. It’s meant to warn people that there’s a new person capable of creating a new horror to the world because he’s closely following Hitler in the early days.

It’s fine for rabbis to say that Trump isn’t Hitler because there was only one Hitler and there will never be another Hitler. However, there can be people who may be similar to Hitler (or possibly even worse), supported by rabid followers who believe in violence to solving problems. Do you want to take a chance on putting someone like that in power?

Trump is not Hitler. He could be even worse. If that happens, people could then compare Hitler to Donald Trump.

If We Hired People the Same Way We Elect Presidents

One of the oddest features of the latest Presidential campaigning is that the most popular candidates are those with the least amount of experience working in government. Candidates touting their “outsider” appeal are basically saying, “I’ve never done this type of job before so therefore I’m best qualified to make the changes we need.”

That’s like hiring someone who knows nothing about plumbing to fix your clogged toilet or hiring someone who knows nothing about electrical wiring to rewire your house.

Nobody in their right mind would hire an unqualified worker in any other field, but when it comes to politics, knowing nothing and having zero experience is somehow an asset while having experience and working in the government is somehow considered a liability.

With that in mind, we can now visit a job interview between two applicants for a brain surgeon in a major hospital.

INTERVIEWER: As you know, this hospital prides itself on hits excellent reputation as the finest medical facility in the world. We’re looking for our next head surgeon who can maintain this hospital’s research and reputation and take it to new places. So first, tell me about yourself.

APPLICANT #1: I’ve been working as a surgeon for the past twenty years and helped Dr. Rubens perform one of the latest artificial kidney operations in the world using techniques that he and I both helped pioneer. I’ve written and published numerous scientific papers about surgery and healing techniques that use light and sound to heal damaged cells at the molecular level, and I’ve volunteered for the past ten years to perform operations in Third World countries absolutely free.

INTERVIEWER: Uh, thanks, but to tell you the truth, we were looking for someone with more radical ideas for changing the way this hospital, and the entire medical community, works. I don’t think you’re the person we have in mind. Next!

APPLICANT #2: I’ve never used a knife before in all my life because when I rob liquor stores, I only use a gun. I carry a big gun because a big gun scares people and if they et in my way, I blast a hole big enough to put Cleveland in. I never wash my hands because that’s a waste of water, and I don’t trust medicine, surgery, or hospitals. Whatever happened to the old fashion way of draining someone’s bad blood like they did to George Washington? If you drain a person of enough blood, there’s no way their illness can survive. Of course, they might not survive either, but just because someone didn’t work in the past doesn’t mean it can’t work differently in the future. That’s why I think I’m qualified to be the head surgeon of this hospital because I bring an outsider’s point of view. I know nothing about medical practices so I’ll bring fresh ideas. I’ve never worked in a hospital before in my life, so I know how to run a medical institution the right way. I’ve never healed anyone so that means I’m completely qualified to work as a healer in the medical community. I promise to bring change even if those changes make no sense whatsoever because people want to see action, even if those actions do more harm than good. More importantly, I’ll never apologize for my actions or decisions because apologizing is for weak pansies. Everything I do will always be right and if it isn’t, I’ll just keep saying it’s right until you people agree and stop looking at facts to think otherwise.

INTERVIEWER: Well, you’ve certainly proven your point! I believe you have all the necessary qualifications needed to run this medical institution and heal the community with your medical knowledge. Welcome aboard, and if you get tired of running this hospital with no experience of any kind, perhaps you can then move on to run for President of the United States.


An Interview with God

Professor Jean Decety, a neuroscientist from the University of Chicago, studied over 1000 children from around the world and published a paper in the journal  Current Biology, which found that children from religious households are actually less generous than kids from a secular background.

While most people think of religion as making people more generous, it appears that this one study contradicts this common belief. So to get to the core of this study, it’s only fitting to ask the creator of the universe what He thinks, so we offer you an interview with God.

Me: As the main object of worship in all the world’s religions (except for those druids who seem to worship trees, but are indirectly worshipping you after all), what do you make of this latest study that shows people are less generous if they’re religious?

God: Well first of all, you have to realize that studying people is an inexact science so it’s hard to draw general conclusions from a sample of 1000 kids. But to answer your question, the problem with religion is that it allows people to interpret it any way they wish to justify their own lifestyle choices anyway. Generous, caring people use the Bible to justify continuing to be caring and generous towards others, while selfish people find ways to use the Bible to justify being selfish to others. Just look at all the religious extremists currently controlling the Republican Party and you can see what happens when selfish people use religion as an excuse to hide their own obnoxious behavior.

Me: So you’re saying religious people aren’t necessarily more or less generous than secular people?

God: That’s right. Remember, I gave people free will and look what a mess they make of it. Historically, people have used the Bible and religion to justify slavery, war, torture, and racism. That’s not a fault of religion so much as it’s a fault of people who hide behind religious righteousness so they can appear saintly while continuing to perform horrible, selfish deeds. Again, just look at the right-wing religious extremists in the GOP and tell me if those people aren’t looking out for their own selfish interests at the expense of anyone they consider to be outside their groups.

Me: Do you think religion brings people closer together or divides them apart?

God: Again it boils down to free will. For some people, religion provides rules to guide people into generous and loving behavior. For others, religion provides equally strong rules for hurting others, discriminating against others, and oppressing others all in the name of religious freedom. I didn’t give people the right to make others miserable, but that’s what happens when you give people free will. Just look how free will turned out in Satan and you can pretty much see how it works with right-wing extremists in the GOP as well.

Me: Why do you think right-wing religious extremists overwhelmingly support the GOP?

God: Most likely because the GOP actually listens to them and caters to their whims, no matter how small they might really be compared to the rest of the party. Yet because religious extremists are the most vocal, they tend to exert more influence than the larger majority that stays silent.

Me: Do you see any hope in people overcoming the negative aspects of religion and only embracing the positive aspects?

God: Don’t make me laugh! You really think people will actually read the Bible and follow rules like loving thy neighbor when they can simply focus on other parts of scripture to justify their own horrible behavior? That’s a good one. You see, far too many people use religion as a way to separate and divide themselves from others. When you join a particular religion, it gives you an identity and anyone outside of your religion is obvious an outsider, unworthy of the same benefits you deserve for choosing to join a particular religious group. Just look at how most people want to get to heaven. That’s a selfish thought right there. If they were truly religious, they would want to sacrifice their own lives so someone else could get into heaven, but most religious people don’t think like that. They want to get into heaven for selfish reasons masked as religious doctrine so they can avoid seeing how they’re really selfish and self-centered. If all those selfish people really got into heaven, it would actually look more like hell.

Me: So what would you say to all those people who blame other religions for atrocities while avoiding mentioning the atrocities of their own faith?

God: Those people make me laugh because they embrace the worst aspects of human behavior while disguising them as religious beliefs. Strip away religion from these people and you simply have maniacal psychopaths no different than Charles Manson or Jack the Ripper. The only difference is that serial killers at least acknowledge they’re hurting others.

Me: if you could recreate the world all over again, how would you do things differently?

God: Well I’d probably put a disclaimer in the Bible explaining that you can’t take the word of God literally because it’s all your interpretation anyway. But most religious people wouldn’t want to read something like that, so that seems like a waste of paper. I suppose I’d like to tell religious extremists that they really don’t know what they’re talking about, but if these people won’t listen to reason and logic, what are the chances they’d listen to someone like me, who they claim to worship and love while ignoring everything I tell them anyway?

Me: It’s certainly been interesting talking to the creator of the universe, knowing that He feels just as frustrated dealing with humanity as everyone else.

God: Thank you, and let me say that even I still can’t figure out a way to bring peace to the Middle East. You can’t wait for God to fix things on this planet. People have to learn to do it themselves, but then again, that’s something else most people don’t want to hear, even if it comes from God Himself.

Me: Thank you God for agreeing to this interview. I hope people will one day get a chance to listen to you for a change.

God: I wish they’d listen to Me too, but if they did, they’d have to actually change their behavior rather than find ways to justify it, so you know that’s never going to happen.

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